I Couldn't Help Myself

Things have gotten somewhat heavy here at FTPM lately, so I thought I would post about a survey on Facebook from my hometown news source.  The question was (to some effect): How do you avoid being struck by lighting? I read all..I mean all...of the responses.  They ranged from answers like "I stay inside and stay away from water." to " I pray to my Lord Jesus Christ that I don't get hit until the storm passes." to" I lay flat of the floor and take a nap until the storm passes...and I pray while I'm there." Oh the power of social media folks.

My first thought was that folks actually took that survey seriously?!? There were 60+ responses that read, "get inside" and nearly half had "stay away from water."  As I read it I could not help but think of the person who sees that questions and thinks "What do I do to avoid being struck by lighting?" That person  would then read all the posts and in their mind, hopefully, formulate the idea that if they stay inside, they won't be struck by lighting.  I am afraid, however, that they might get confused about the staying away from water, and the laying down parts.  I guess if a bunch of folks get struck by lighting while laying down near water, we'll know it didn't work and the news will have a hot story.  The problem there is, they'll turn it into some kind of cult thing.

The best post, or shall I say the post that was the most different was to go where the lighting stuck and stay there. This operated under the precept that lighting never strikes twice in the same place.  Sound reasoning. Even surrounded by "I go inside" and "I look like an idiot at work while I lay in the floor praying til the storm passes" this seemed like a monkey speaking Chinese, so I decided to impart my family's secret way of not being struck by lighting. Here is what I posted.

"I don't know about the rest of these folks but I crab a golf club and run around like a mad man. Lighting might be fast but if I run really fast and change directions a lot, it won't get me. Even with the metal golf club I'm safe, because a) I'm running around and b) the golf club has a rubber grip on it. Golfers get stuck because they're standing still or not moving very fast if they are moving. The keys are to move as fast as you can, and change directions"